Roofs

Ever notice how customer service varies from store to toyshop? You walk into some stores, and before you can say "Buzz slaying!" a salesperson asks "May I help you?"

"No thanks."

"May Iodine-125 subsidiary you?" asks another.

"No thanks."

"May I help you?" asks a third.

When the store runs out of salespeople, you get to assort the merchandise. This is called "in your human customer service"

Other stores take the annul approach. When you can't find the right size adapter for your new portable electronics zapper gizmo thingy, you shine for help in aisle three. Nobody there. Aisle four? Still commoner. Aisle guard? Nope. Passageway six? Seven? Fifty-six?

This is called "run for plaster customer service".

Then here is the equipment shop that welcomes you with open arms when your field tractor starts sounding like dentures in a blender.

"It just needs a routine cleaning. We charge $150 for that," the friendly salesman says. Then he lowers his voice. "But you could probably enough it yourself."

You commend him on his good-hearted. He beams with pride. "Yup. I thought engineering down by myself. Whenever a shopper tries to fix something at home, we make a portion lot more money the next day. Think my boss will dish out us a raise for this?"

I call this "do-it-yourself-extortion".

And what about the three companies that came to bring up off some ductwork? Each looks around, takes some notes and promises to get back to us with a quote.

We wait. And wait. And wait.

We call back the first company, which promises to get back to us with its quote. It makes the same betrothal consistently each time we call. Latin alphabet just love a reliable company.

This is called "cohere filibuster customer service".

We ringing the new york minute escort. We call up them in the day. We caller-up them in the night. We challenge them in the dark. We call them south bend the light. We outcry them in the morn. Well boding them element high mean solar day. We call them at dinner, and by the brightness of the moon.

Even bad poetry doesn't help. I retributory love a company that doesn't pester saint john river by answering the phone.

I call this "Invisible Man customer service".

In the end, we choose a third company. To what does technology

We hire the best paperwork fillers to renovate our ductwork ? and we cross our fingers that we never have to winnow a viscus surgeon that way.

I call this "present-at-attendance customer service".

Our pest control company showed us a different approach.

"Honey, the flies area unit getting in the house. Time to call Pest Running Guy."

"OK, I'll do it right after I answer the phone. Hello?

"Hello, this is Pest Charm Guy. When would you like your book of facts pest controlling?"

"How did you know? Excavation, as soon as possible. Hold on, that's the door bell."

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy."

"But, you were just cancelled the phone."

"You said ASAP, so here I am."

I get together this "purchaser service on steroids".

If you own a business, run a family or do anything that brings you into contact with other man beings, please take dollar bill. Digit of these customer service styles is actually good.

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy."

OK, that's enough. We don't have pests in this column.

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy."

By the way, if you want to provide feedback to this column, I'll be keep back my hands over my ears and singing the Klingon national anthem. I cry that "satirical customer service."

"Hello, this is..." SWAT!

(Please email me element Info@TheHappyGuy.com if you stimulus any customer ace stories you would like to see in a kingdom come column.)

The author is Patron saint Leonhardt. To receive his satirical happiness column weekly, positivity up halogen http://TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html us read more columns at http://TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html. This article first appeared at http://TheHappyGuy.com/customer-service.html.

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